My mother loves me a lot, I am very blessed in that way. And she also has this protective mother instinct within her that does not want me to experience any pain, sadness or hurt. Therefore throughout my life an underlaying message from her to me has been: ‘Don’t have to high expectations of life because you may get disappointed or hurt along the way.’ . . . . . . .
Today when I asked myself why I keep subtly postponing certain BIG dreams, projects and desires in my life I heard this old underlaying message coming up in me: ‘Because I want to protect you. If you keep your head low and don’t expect to much of life you will be safe and will not have to deal with the pain or hurt of failure or disappointment.’ . . . . . . .
Wow, hello! Wait a minute, pause please. This is not my voice... This is not my message or my way of seeing or wanting to see and experience life. I am actually quite ok with experiencing a good portion of hurt, failure and disappointment in my life, thank you very much. I am a grown woman so by now I know and realize pain is very much part of life. There is no way around it. And if I have a choice (which fortunately I have) I rather feel and experience pain, hurt, disappointment and struggle while going for my true dreams than experiencing them while settling for less. That would simply not make any sense to me. . . . . . . .
I realized the power of this moment. Seeing and feeling into the (sometimes underlaying or very clear) messages we got from our family, teachers and communities, is a very important thing to do. Because you want to check them: ‘Is this way of seeing, thinking or experiencing true to me and MY way? Being an adult you have the capability to make a conscious choice for yourself. How do YOU feel? How do YOU want to see, experience and encounter the world? . . . . . . .
In full compassion and with love for my mother (who ofcourse has been evolving over time as well ) I am saying: No, I don’t agree. I don’t. . . . . . . .
I dream! I desire, I long for things, deeply. — read the rest of this post in the comments below: worth it!! — - 1 month ago