THE single thing that has made the biggest difference to me and my emotional health when it comes to sleep, was to stop fighting.
To stop fighting him, to stop fighting for the nap, to stop fighting at bedtime.
Just Stop Fighting.
To stop fighting what was happening and just accept it.
Accept the reality of his (actually very normal) sleep patterns and find a way to work around them, to navigate them…to UNDERSTAND them.
And this one is crucial because nearly everything out there tells us if our baby isn’t sleeping a million hours a night and napping by themselves and blah blah then they’re broken and we’ve got it all wrong.
But what’s wrong is THAT advice.
Learning about real, biologically normal sleep was such a game changer for me, learning what helps and what hinders sleep. And then alongside that, learning how to look after MYSELF properly too.
Turning back to my old friends mindfulness and journaling helped me to focus on myself and my baby and what the two of us really needed rather than the noise of outside expectations or the call of the dishes that needed doing or whatever.
Learning to trust myself and my instincts and to read my baby without getting distracted by all that noise out there.
And when I find myself getting cross with it again I ask myself why.Why is this triggering me, why is this a problem…what is my real issue here…then I deal with THAT.
Acceptance was key… Accepting that my little person is just that… a person who I can’t control, especially where sleep’s concerned. A little person with his own head and heart and tummy and emotions that all deserve to be respected and heard in their own right and that all affect sleep.
It's not about giving up in despair, it's about accepting what is so we can work with it and find a way through it, to a better place.
Not staying stuck in that dark and difficult place that sleep struggles so often plunge us into.
If you'd like help getting out of it too, you just let me know - 1 hour ago