"teenage resembles a body without a spine"
―i teach my mother poetry and she writes that down in bengali
you see women and poetry are like tears and water, you won't know the difference with your periscope
my mother learns fast and writes that down and i wish i hadn't taught her, you see poets and mothers with aching daughters have words glimmering like the sheen of sweat we never learn to wipe
you see poets and mothers with aching daughter have words which burn skin faster than truth.
all this time my mother tries to explain that my hurt is a window which i should leave closed
closed windows keep the dark in and let the blood flood the bed and i don't know how to tell her that the window she is talking about closed and got jammed and i would never dare open it because the wall would crumble and this home would crumble and the debris will be me and the collateral damage will be her.
my mother tells me that names of lovers can be replaced but i don't tell her that you never loved me and i can't replace you and how will i replace a void with another
you can't put emptiness on emptiness to fill the shallows
all poets loved too much and lost too fast and i am half poet half poem and poems are wars in themselves and i know this that poets and wars end soon and end empty.
all love songs keep telling me your name and i could say that i don't want to listen to them but they say that music saves and all songs besides love songs remind me of what i will never have and never had my mother pulls the covers over my head and whispers
and i bite my tongue and bite the sheets to stop myself
'let me go' would kill my mother.
-Saptaparna//let go// - 5 hours ago