When this picture was taken I hadn’t learned how not to make plans. I hadn’t let go of the person I was once. But I really just had to shed a layer of shyness that I had cloaked around me. That was preventing my self from coming through. I hadn’t learned yet to give no fucks. That life goes on regardless if it feels like being nice to you. That you’ll have days where you feel like your world is crumbling to shit and you’ve lost the one person in your life you love the most. And you had that hunch that your paths would cross again. You knew your paths had to diverge a bit. Discover that you both really wanted the same thing, you just needed to get out of the familiar landscape.
When this photo was taken I was wearing my one and only ever pink shirt I’ve ever owned in my adult life. It’s been muted through the b+w but it’s highlighter pink. Fellow hikers behind or below could see me a few switchback away, “Mouse!” My trail name had just been given to me as we were going into that first little town in North Carolina. I hadn’t quite warmed up to it yet, I wasn’t sure if it was the one, and I wasn’t used to not being called my actual name.
I remember being so excited to get into Virginia. I remember how excited I was to be OUT of Virginia. When this photo was taken I hadn’t quite stopped living for the future. Always making future plans, getting caught up in what I was going to do next in life. I always had an idea of where I wanted to be. That was partly fueled by the semester schedule of my college and short post bacc education. Once school ended, it subsided a little bit, but I still got swept away in making future plans.
Plans go to shit! Always, always, always. But I always keep end goals in mind. But scrutinizing the exact nature of every day is exhausting and rarely comes to fruition or flows in the exact notion that I had in my head. I keep my goals in sight. I achieve those without getting caught up in where I’m gonna be, where I’m traveling next, or what new thing I’ll pursue. I know that I love walking, hiking, catching sunsets and sunrises, bursting out into spontaneous dance parties in the kitchen, making dough, baking bread, and driving alone.
Anon - 10 hours ago