This morning was a difficult morning. It would be easy for me to say, as I’ve been guilty of many times before, that Jasmine was being difficult but in reality, that wording is all wrong. Rather, it IS difficult. Parenting IS difficult. Getting out the house on time IS difficult. Not knowing what to do IS difficult....not the child.
It is difficult to remain patient when you’re asking the same thing a hundred times. It is difficult to stay calm when everyone is running late. It is difficult to persuade a sad and clingy child that going to nursery is actually going to be fun. It is difficult not to get cross when the angry child nearly wakes the sleeping baby. It is difficult not to lose your cool when the shoes are on the wrong feet, according to the child, for the hundredth time. It is difficult to not label the child as the problem and urge them just to hurry up.
It is difficult to watch your child struggling but being unable to express how they feel. It is difficult to wipe the tears that come when no-one can do anything right. It is difficult to see the clock tick by but be no closer to being ready. It is difficult to be selfless and know that “me time” may not happen today. It is difficult to hear yourself say things that you know aren’t kind or effective and it is difficult to wish you just knew what to do.
It is difficult to have your upset child be peeled off your shoulders at nursery, when reassuring words and extra cuddles haven’t been enough. It is difficult to watch them dissolve into tears knowing it was always going to be this way on this difficult morning. It is difficult to let it go and know they’ll be OK. It is difficult not to cry yourself, through guilt, anguish and longing to do better.
Motherhood IS difficult, not the child even if their actions ARE difficult.
We are all learning.
We are not perfect, nor do we need to be.
We can say sorry to our child and be humble in our mistakes.
We can admit our own faults and imperfections.
We can try again tomorrow.
We can tell our child we understand their emotions, their sadness and their worry and we can acknowledge them having a hard time.
We can love them with all our hearts. - 17 minutes ago