This post is for those who might feel sad, empty, pain, or even anger today; Fathers Day. You see posts of others happy and celebrating and might feel left out, or what is wrong with you that you can't join in?
First of all, there is no such thing as a perfect family. You might see what appears to be a perfect day, or a perfect moment, or a perfect picture. But every functional family has horrors and tragedy, some were not anyone's fault. Sometimes it's choices that lead to tragedy, sometimes it's circumstance.
Some people may have lost their dad, or don't feel their dad was worth celebrating, or maybe you are a single mom, or maybe your a father who lost a child, or maybe there is just some other loss for you this time of year that you remember and this day brings back the pain.
I never really had a dad either so I know. I met him for the first time when I was 15 years old and in a foster home. We had a little contact over the years. Before he died he told me he was really proud of what I became even though he had nothing to do with it. I had the chance to forgive him for abandoning me. I'm really glad I had that chance before he left this earth. I know he had his own issues and tragedies in life. He did the best he could under the circumstances. He was merely surviving his own luggage.
Some of us come from generations of tragedy and "issues". Even though it feels like a disadvantage, if we move past it we can be stronger than ever. Sometimes I think the disadvantages and tragedies of my life drive me to work even harder. Who knows why? Sometimes I don't always get it, but I'm driven to work hard and find purpose every day.
Don't use it as an excuse to be a grump or mean to others. Just smile and say something nice, whatever words are yours. I've learned to say Happy Fathers day back to others and look at them and actively listen. I don't even have to mention my own tragedies, but oh yes, they are there.
And if you have a chance to forgive, especially if someone actually asks. Give it and move on. It doesn't always mean it's appropriate for them to be a part of your life, but it means you can get on with yours.
Okay, back to my work! - 2 days ago