Several years ago, God started me on a journey of self worth. See, up to that moment, I had lived most of my life questioning my value, wondering if I would ever be good enough.
I doubted, pretty much, everything about myself. My internal voice constantly reminded me of all my shortcomings, of how I would never measure up.
I was so convinced that I would fail, at anything I set out to do, that I rarely ever tried. The fear of failure was debilitating, and all consuming.
It didn’t matter that others believed in me, because I didn’t believe in myself. Words of affirmation were nice, but they didn’t override the internal dialogue within me.
Where did all the brokenness come from? Did it even matter? Would finding out the answers change anything? These are some of the questions I pondered.
I came to discover that finding out why I was broken was only a piece of the puzzle. Enlightenment was necessary, in order for healing to begin, but it didn’t actually hold the power to heal.
After realizing all the reasons I was broken, I was still stuck in the same old patterns of self defeat.
Then, God revealed Himself to me in a way I had not known before. Lying on my bed, in tears of hopelessness and self loathing, He presented to me the option to lie there and stay the same or get up, off that bed, and do something different.
It was up to me to decide how my life would go. I had a choice to, forever, be a slave to brokenness, or to pick myself up and do something differently.
Feeling like I didn’t have much to offer, I made an Instagram account. I began creating picture quotes, writing, and sharing.
And with that, one decision, my healing began. The day I got off that bed, dried my tears, and trusted God was the moment I would, forever, be changed.
I’m not that girl anymore. I am more aware, than ever, that who I am is enough. I am worthy of taking up space, in this world, and so are you.
So, today, if you struggle with self worth, or doubt that you have anything, of real value, to offer, I encourage you to pick one thing and go after it with all your might.
There is power in picking up the pen and rewriting how the story ends. - 4 months ago