as i walk out to car ride line, i see my boy.
well not my boy.
we never dated.
just best friends.
he had a girlfriend when he was here.
he didn’t love her, but couldn’t force himself to break up with her.
he felt too bad.
my classic angel boy.
i swear God set him down straight from heaven.
me on the other hand, i look like i was just torn apart from hell.
in a way, i was.
that hospital does things to you.
it messes with your brain when you’re just constantly in there, seeing other sick kids.
it’s like all of the depressed dying humans put together almost celebrating there sadness.
it gets so lonely.
my closest friend is doctor matthews
and of course hayley.
she has such an amazing future and i’m so excited to see what’s going to happen in her life, even if it’s not here where i watch.
i’m okay with watching her from up there.
i just hope she can do it all on her own.
and now hayden is back.
and there is no way i would let him come back without being best friends with him again.
of course, the second i saw him, i ran up and hugged him.
to think i would let him go again.
i will adopt him if i have to.
my mom thinks i’m taking the bus but really, hayden texted me telling in my elective telling me he would take me home.
not asking, telling.
warms my heart.
my dying, rotting heart.
like physically deforming.
i can’t wait to see mom and hayley’s reaction.
he’s like another brother/son.
i swear they love him more than they love me.
that’s not a bad thing, i like it that way.
i like him more than myself anyway.
i hopped in the front seat with my feet barely hitting the floor board.
“how was your first day back?” i asked him smiling bright.
what does this boy do to me?
i’m not mad though.
it’s better than what this heart condition does to me.
“amazing, i wish i never left.” he placed his hand on my thigh.
“what was it like seeing your mom again?” i wondered.
i haven’t seen her in forever.
“she’s so god damn beautiful. and i missed her so much it’s insane. almost as much as i missed you, almost as beautiful as you, strawberry.”
i feel my cheeks heat up like they where in a fucking oven.
mic! - 14 hours ago