So X has really fucked with me, I tried to kinda talk to him and make a conversation. He makes it so hard, he contiously sends . But not in a flirty sense, or he is and I dont know. But he usally always sends them.
He then spoke with our friend J, who hangs with us all. X said he thinks he is just going to give up with me. As he believes nothings going to happen, which nothing will if he doesn't do anything
The thing is X has messed with me,not on purpose of been mean. He messed up my head with my gender, as he made me feel better about my body. As in alot better with femine aspects, which makes it harder for me as I thought I was trans. What he made me feel better about,is liking the stuff that I do to myself. As in actually like binding positively, be able to take my top off and walk around in it. Before I wouldn't dare, but with him I'm comfortable and walk around shirtless on the park with said so refreshing when it's hot. He also makes me want to have sex, as in before I was like I accept probably not going to happen because I'm awkward and thats icky. But the lad makes me fucking horny, and I want him to touch me and I wanna touch him and......fuck
However as he wants to give up,and isn't trying anything he is making me go back into my hole of depressive shit. I need to know what he wants , does he wanna try or forget about it. Because it's upsetting me on a level which he isn't aware of, and that isn't for him to be necessarily blamed for. But it is because I need to know what he wants, then I can find a happiness in it. As he cant say he doesn't like me, then take it back and say he does. But then not do anything. As in X you are really hurting me mate. - 4 minutes ago