I have trouble sharing how I feel and some of my past experiences.
A good chunk of that is due to shame. I can’t get over the embarrassment over what I’ve done, the treatment I accepted, and the inauthentic self I presented in the name of not shaking the boat. Some is due to fear about how people will react. Another chunk is simply not knowing how to share safely; being prone to over sharing, closing down completely, or simply not being able to assess properly who to share with...
What I will tell you is that the things you don’t make peace with stay hidden and shame lives and grows in silence. The deeper you bury it, the worse you will feel and the more control it will have over your future.
As awkward and ugly as it seems, I urge you to find a safe space to talk. To find a way to share what happened with another person and connect. Shame has a funny way of disappearing once you look it in the face and you own what’s inspiring it. You don’t need to scream it from the rooftops, but you need to find a way to say it to another human.
You can’t change what happened. We are all altered by our experiences, but that doesn’t mean they have to rule. Although they tell you that people don’t change, they can. Most don’t because the path is uncomfortable, rocky, and steep. Most people don’t because it requires a disturbing amount of honesty, self awareness, determination, vulnerability and grit.
Be the exception to the rule.
✍️ If you’d like to read more about my recovery journey, swing by the website (jesscape.com) for longer posts, email subscription, and links to my Facebook and Pinterest feeds.
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