An Essay by Ina B.
I am not just anybody, I am my grandfather’s granddaughter. He was a preacher, a man of wise words, a man of #peace . He raised his kids, my aunts & uncles & father to love #God by example. Recently, I had the privilege of going to my aunt Lily’s birthday party, where she so fondly explained how Tati (what we called him in #Romanian ), gave the children #freedom to believe or not believe, but he was a man full of so much light that it was impossible to be around him and not feel the presence of God. Growing up, I never had #moviestars or #superhearoes or even #athletes for #heroes . My #hero was my grandfather. He is the one who brought me to America when I was 10, after having been separated from my parents for 3 years, living with my maternal grandparents in a small #village in the state of #Prahova . There, I went off into the forest alone and took a Bible with me because there was not that much reading material aside from a few other fairy tale books, like the #GrimmBrothers and #Christian books. For me, however, because I had heard my grandfather preach from the Bible, I found it to be the most interesting book and he was the best teacher. He made the stories come to life, probably stories passed down by his #Jewish mother who couldn’t quite say she was Jewish. Yet, he had a special soul, one that I was even reminded of this passed #Passover when I celebrated with some Orthodox Jewish friends. I could feel the richness of my ancestors’ #faith around me and the prophetic blessings of the Scriptures. Yet, there was a darkness over me, a deep grief, a sorrow I can’t shake. I wanted so badly to talk to my grandfather & ask for a strategy to overcome the darkest part of my life, which I am now. Ironically enough, one would think that the years after my #rape & the somewhat unhealthy coping methods I used after and then getting raped again are my darkest years, but that’s not it. During that time, which was deeply painful, I was in the #darkness and knew that once I gain the strength to crawl into the #light I’d be ok. Now, I’m in the light, but life is dark. I am afraid, but I know my grandpa would say, “Fear not.” - 14 hours ago