Y’all. OMG. I just ran for the first time in about 2 years! Phew! I only ran/walked 2 miles and had to stop to give Maximus snacks and water, pick up the water bottle he kept throwing, pick up his socks that he took off, etc. But, I did it! I have been so inspired watching the journey of my friend @ericafiguresitoit. She just completed the #transrockiesrun . Wow. I am not there by any mesns, but one step at a time is how you climb the mountain, right? I will get there. #onestepatatime #pasoapaso
In the past, I wouldn’t count this as any kind of accomplishment because I didn’t run straight through the 2 miles and because it was “only” 2 miles. Today is a new day. I am celebrating this achievement. Celebrating what I did instead of criticizing myself for not doing more feels great! I am working to overcome that nagging thought pattern that tells me nothing I do is ever enough. I am working to ignore the voice of my ex-abusers telling me I am not going hard enough or fast enough. My ex would criticize literally everything I did down to how I got into the bed, how I ran, how I walked, what I ate, what I did...everything. He would call me out of shape (his code word for fat and ugly) even though I was doing aerial arts 3-4 times a week, hiking a ton, and doing yoga every day and losing weight. Why? Because I wasn’t doing what HE thought I should be doing. If it wasn’t the gym, running, or cycling it didn’t count. So, I started hating those activities more and more. I could never cycle or run far enough for him to be satisfied. But, you know what? Apart from him, I love being in the gym. Apart from him, I actually love being on my bicycle. And apart from him, I realized today that I actually love running.
Today is the start of something beautiful. If there is anything you aren’t doing because you don’t think you’re good enough at it, do it anyway. If you think somehow you aren’t enough for anything, know that you are enough. YOU ARE ENOUGH. Change the thought loops of criticism, doubt, worry, fear. Put on a new album of hope, peace, praise. You got this.
#youarenotenough #iamenough #domesticabusesurvivor #survivor #getoutside #optoutside #runnersofinstagram - 23 minutes ago