Yup. I’m tired of being hurt by my father and being told by everyone around me that ‘he had a horrible childhood’ or ‘he has his own demons’ or ‘his parents were abusive to him.’ And that’s exactly what i would tell myself time after time when he’s hurt me. Because hurt people hurt people.
His childhood is nothing to do with me. His trauma is nothing to do with me. I didn’t cause it. So why should we take the brunt of our parents pain?
He’s the adult. It’s his responsibility to sort himself out, to get help, do what he needs to do.
Just like it’s now MY responsibility to take control of my own recovery.
It would have been so much less damaging if he’d admitted he wasn’t ready to be a parent and disappeared to sort his life out.
Because you suffered trauma and abuse does not give you a free pass to project your pain onto other people, especially not your children.
If i ever have babies i would NEVER ‘pass down’ this generational abuse onto them.
We can’t change the past, what’s happened to us, but we have the power to let these curses die with us. And we will grow and learn, we’ll be in recovery, and we’ll watch the next generation grow up with peace. And our babies won’t have to recover from their childhoods. 🏼 - 39 minutes ago