If you base who you are on who or what loves you, then you will live forever in lack. It’s not possible to feel the love you crave, until you are able to completely love your self.
It will always be a desperate struggle to have your needs met by those around you when you struggle to emanate this love from within you first. You will constantly expect others to deliver the feel good factor.
This is where it gets hard, because we all have specific needs that were not met as a child and we’re unconsciously looking outside of us to get those needs met. This is fear based, conditional love coming from a place of un-fulfilment. Fulfilment is an inside job and we will struggle to connect deeply with others, until we choose to look within and fill in the missing pieces.
Its taken me years to understand ‘self love’ because I was focussed on doing physical things outside of me like massages, chocolate and walks in nature. But self love is re-parenting, enforcing discipline, committing to healthy routines and learning to love every single part of myself as I continue this unraveling work.
We stunt our growth when we look for the love from others. To do this involves shapeshifting constantly in order to people please - something i’ve learnt to stop doing. This means accepting rejection. Where do I get my love from if I don’t adapt to make others happy?! All the while, I have the ability to shift in to my true SELF. Be exactly who I want to be and see who sticks around. It’s scary. It’s lonely but it’s REAL.
Most love is conditional. What people love about you is generally what they love about themselves or makes them feel good. People will distance themselves, become unresponsive or fail to show up when they see something they dislike. It’s up to us to find resolution within ourselves, without looking in desperation to fill in the broken pieces with others.
The most powerful and enriching times of my growth have been alone, in darkness, listening to my heart. Giving up on resistance to the bad feelings and accepting what calls to be felt. Sitting with loneliness can make you feel crazy but it’s in that madness you’ll find the best answers.💫 - 34 minutes ago