Last Saturday-I went to a meditation class for women who had survived sexual assault. And while there I realized that every women in the room and I shared one thing in common. And it wasn't the reason we where there.
It was that we had forgotten how to Breathe. No, not the type of breathing our bodies do unintentionally. But the type of breathing that reminds us to slow down, rest and digest what is happening. The type of breath that makes you feel calm and safe. The type of breathing that makes moments feel special. After the trauma our bodies had endured, we had forgotten how to truly breathe. And it was written in invisible ink across each of our faces.
Because of the invisible ink scrawled across our faces... The instructor could tell each of us was struggling to be in that room- No matter how far we were in our healing journey. We were all struggling to try and truly breath for the first time in a long while. So, before the class ended the instructor taught us a breathing exercise and mantra to go with an eight-count breath. Deep breath in thinking "I am Safe" -hold breath- exhale out "All is Well". After the class, I left thinking that I would never use that exercise again.
Except I did. It kept continually coming up throughout the week. From work, to doing yoga, to the coffee shop. My mind and body would automatically go back to that breath exercise. Breathe In "I am safe"- Breathe out "all is well". Fast Forward to tonight. When I am standing in the misting rain, staring at a rainbow in the sky. The first rainbow, I had seen in ages. And all of a sudden- I feel myself breathing. Breathing in the good and out all the bad. Breathing for a moment without regard for the past or the future. Just Breathing. Truly Breathing. Breathing knowing at this moment, I know truly where I am meant to be.
On your journey to saudade... I hope you find your meditation class. I hope you find your mantra. I hope you find your continued thought. And most importantly I hope you find the thing that makes you breath, truly breath. Because when you do.... it will make you feel like a better person. - 2 hours ago