Please read this amazing Queen transformation story 2014 -> 2019
My loves, it has been a while and I finally feel like doing an update.
After 10 years, I have changed therapists. I have been with my old one since I turned 16, so I am very close with her, but we decided that some fresh inputs would be good. I was very surprised that I quickly found somebody that I already trust and the change has really given me some new motivation, so thats great!
Something that is really difficult is that my seizures are still not under control. I still have them around 3 or 4 times a week, sometimes more, I bite my tongue pretty severely everytime and it makes normal activities like even leaving the house pretty difficult. I have ridden in soooo many ambulances that a lot of the paramedics know me on a first name basis lol.
Considering my eating disorder things arent bad, but they arent good either. I have it under control most days, i am still underweight with a BMI of around 16 and my weight is mostly stable. Thats great news compared to 2014 when anorexia almost killed me.
But the ED still takes up a lot more space in my life than I want to give it. I want to become less restricted, but I am scared to take the necessary steps.
I am still not in good physical condition. I pass out all the time and i get exhausted really easily. I cannot stand or walk for longer than ca. 30min, sometines even use a wheelchair and thats just not normal for somebody my age. I should be full of energy and ready to do the things I want, but my body is telling me that it isnt happy yet and the 10+ years of being underweight have taken a toll on my general physical health.
At the moment, I am gathering the courage to make another big change. I know deep down that if I want to recover mentally, I cannot stay underweight, so I am planing on focusing on gaining weight again to at least get somewhere close to a normal weight. I cannot heal my mind if I keep my body sick. That is inconvenient but it is true.
I have proven to myself before that I can do hard things and that I am capable of making progress, SO I WILL KEEP FIGHTING AND BE BRAVE. THIS LIFE HAS SO MUCH MORE TO OFFER
Thank for - 7 hours ago