Part of my problem in mental health was my anxiety telling me I wasn’t enough for this world. By that I mean, I wasn’t beautiful enough, smart enough, fun enough, happy enough, funny enough, bitchy enough, mom enough, skinny enough... I just wasn’t enough. I always managed to push how I felt down, took hours to do my makeup for it to be perfect enough for society, tried on 101 outfits just to pick up Azéza from school because I didn’t want to be labeled as a bad mom or a bummy mom, and when I didn’t please just one person... my whole world came crumbling down. Over and over and over again, and I would tell myself “see Jasmin if you tried a little bit harder, maybe you wouldn’t have fucked everything up again”
I was constantly reminding myself how much of a failure I was. Life can really get to you sometimes, and no matter how strong or happy someone may look doesn’t necessarily mean they truly are on the inside or behind closed doors. I’m happy I started to find myself again, and I won’t let what happens to me determine who I am. I’m slowly starting to not care what society or how the world chooses to view me, i can’t control that and what matters is how I view myself, and if I keep getting consumed by societies perfect picture of a mom/woman I’ll never be a good example for my daughter, I finally had that moment of clarity, when my daughter and son grow up, will they be proud of what I did or who I am today? My answer at that moment was no, so I went to mental health in Abbotsford, and never looked back.
#mentalhealth #loveyourself #dontgiveup #iamwhoiam #beproudofyourself #proudmother #fuckanxiety #fuckdepression - 1 day ago