I think one of the hardest things for me to do is let go. As someone with fierce anxiety, and the need to constantly be productive / in charge, letting go of the ropes and being in someone else’s hands is terrifying for me.
With job searches, though, this is part of the game. More common than not, you are at the mercy of, first of all, who is even hiring. And secondly, the people hiring are typically looking for a super-specific candidate that fits their exact need.
I’ve had 4 interviews over the last couple weeks. Part of me feels like I crushed them, while the rest of me feels totally skeptical. I’ve been replaying what I said, trying to dissect / figure out if there were things I could’ve done differently. Truth is, I gave it my all in each one. And that is that.
I have to remind myself that often it is not even a matter of talent, rather a matter of if you fit their needs or not.
I’ve heard back from one employer thus far, and it actually sounds like I was over-qualified for that position.
This waiting period is making me feel like I am going crazy though. Waiting is always difficult for me. It gives my anxiety plenty of time to taunt me. I’m keeping myself busy with yard work, small creative projects, and exploring areas of town that are unfamiliar to me.
Keeping a positive mindset is constant work, but I am constantly working on it. If you read all of this, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
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