Remember when I told you I didn't know what love was? Those doubts had been eating at me lately. How can I tell if I'm in love if I've never felt it before?
Well, today I had my Eureka moment. I've heard before that the realisation is simple. No dramatic dancing in the rain, no heroes that catch you when you fall. But guess what? It was just like a movie for me. One of those cheesy rom-coms that you hate. It was the biggest cliche of them all- your laugh.
Sure on the outside it probably didn't look like much. You were goofing off at work and watching YouTube. I was a desk away, headphones on, letting James Bay croon in my ear as I worked. The video you watched was funny I guess. And you burst out laughing in the middle of pin drop silence. You caught yourself in a second of course. But you caught my attention too.
Poor James was sidelined as I paused my music and covertly observed every expression on your face after that. Somehow, your reactions were more interesting than anything else, and I revelled in each one. The barely controlled mirth in your expression made me laugh more than that video did.
It hit me then. That warm wide-eyed feeling. Spilling into my guts and my heart. Just like all the books told me it would be. I love you.
I'm a little thick I guess. I should have known it was love the day we had breakfast with your friends from school and you flinched at my touch. You apologized saying that it was unexpected after a month away. I smiled and waved it off then. But I cried that night. And I don't cry easy, you know that. I berated myself too. Why was I being so petty? It was an honest mistake, but it still haunts me sometimes. I should have known that hurt like that doesn't come without love.
You're better at this than I am. You knew it was love long before I did. And I know it worries you sometimes, when I feel detached. But don't worry, sweets. I'm yours. Maybe it's forever, maybe it's not. But I can promise you this - when it's time to leave, I'll miss you.
You've already left a mark on me sweets. If nothing else, I'll carry your scar to the last beat of my heart.
#love #firstlove #instawriters #poetsofinstagram #poem - 30 minutes ago