For the last few days, I’ve been reintroducing myself and telling my story. I’m building up to the launch of a brand new website where I’ll be sharing content, creating courses, and doing my best to motivate, inspire and empower others to dive into their own healing; because I want everyone to experience themselves at their best — beautiful, blissful, joyful and peaceful. So naturally, I feel like it’s kind of important for me to share my background — where I’ve come from and how I got here.
When I was 27, my general practitioner diagnosed me with Generalized Anxiety Disorder after I made the decision to describe to her certain conditions I had been living with all my life.
Anxiety didn’t come into my life out of no where, it’s always lived with me, I just didn’t always know it. I have a familial predisposition to certain mental health conditions, and my belief is that my predisposition to anxiety was activated slowly over time as I’ve undergone certain experiences in life.
As is often the case (for those of us who struggle with mental health) I allowed myself to be controlled by anxiety for a long time. I held back from so many things I wanted to do. I passed up so many opportunities. I spent so much time living in my head, imagining all of the things I wanted to be, but never truly believing that I could be any of them.
Then, one day I realized that there was something terribly wrong with the way I was living. It was nearly 10 years ago — before I ever sought out therapy, before I ever had a diagnosis — I was wasting my days away, binge watching my at-the-time favorite show, and I found myself feeling sad. Sad that this character I loved so much was out there living her best life while I was just sitting on the couch watching.
Like this character, I had big dreams in my head. I wanted to be like her, so it made me sad that she was out there taking action on her dreams, and I wasn’t. So, in that moment, I made a decision. I was going to start working toward my goals, which at the time were: get into better shape and finish writing the manuscript for a book I’d started writing 2 years before. Any guesses as to what happened after I made that decision? - 10 minutes ago