Most people have no concept of the overpowering nature of grief until they face it on a personal level. They most likely encountered family or friends who were grieving and wondered why they were so upset, because they had no concept of the emotional pain these people were experiencing.
Grief is a very individual and personal emotion. Much of this pain is a factor of the things we might have wished had been different, better, or more in that relationship. It is also impacted by the dreams and expectations of a future that is now going to be very different than we had expected.
One reason it can be so hard is that we may have never been taught how to deal with the emotional pain of loss. Most of us have spent a lifetime learning how to get things, but we were never taught anything on an emotional value when it comes to losing them. Parents do not generally sit their children at a table and explain to them how to deal with loss. They are so concerned with protecting us from painful events, it never occurs to them that this is information that we need to know. In all likelihood, their parents never thought of this either. Our parents can only pass on to us what they know. When it comes to dealing with loss, more often than not, the information that they do pass on to us is actually “misinformation.” We call these things misinformation because they really do nothing to deal with that emotional pain. It is advice that speaks to our logic and intellect, but grief is emotional, rather than intellectual. More than anything, the things we learn at an early age are designed to make us “socially appropriate” and easier for others to accept.
You can take effective action to move beyond the pain of loss. This will put you in the position to enjoy past memories, without being overwhelmed with regrets and other sad feelings.
Grief is the normal and natural reaction to any change you experience in life. You don’t need to be “fixed” to feel better. You simply need direction and education on how to “recover.” #feelbetter #griefrecovery #beingasafeperson #painisnormal #noquickfixes #actionsteps #griefrecoverymethod #empathy #kona #konagriefsupport #bigislandgriefsupport - 14 minutes ago