"Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me. Why is my reflection someone I don't know?" 🌸 I am in a very transitory place, where I have been welcoming challenges and doing things I've never done before. It's got me thinking, when do we develop fear? As children, we are FEARLESS. The world is huge and we can't wait to barge through it as fast as we can. But then somewhere along the way, we learn fear. We learn to be scared, and cautious of our surroundings. I remember when I learned to somersault and cartwheel as a kid. I did them all the time without thinking. Now, I'll never do one because I'm scared I'm going to hurt myself. Like, fall and break my neck and die kind of hurt myself. I know that's dramatic, but somewhere through my childhood and into adolescence and finally adulthood, that's become my take on the world. Don't do the thing because you're going to get hurt. Play it safe, stay off the field, don't try new things, stay in your comfort zone, keep the things you know close and the things you don't very far away. Whether this was conscious or unconscious, it's how I am. •••
But, lately, I've been trying to change. I still won't get in the boxing ring to spar like @noel1nonly tried to encourage me to do the other day, but will do things like ride the scary rollercoasters and order things that I've never ordered before. Like, I HATE iced coffee, but actually ordered it a couple times and it was, you know, decent. You don't understand how huge this is for me. @flashgagnon can tell you.
There are things I'm going through that are forcing me to change. I think while I'm already in this vulnerable place of change that it's allowed me to open myself up further to challenge. The beautiful thing is though, that when I challenge myself to do something, I don't feel discomfort (okay, I might have been close to vomiting and having a heart attack when I rode the scary rollercoasters at Carowinds, but still). I don't feel uncomfortable within myself as I do them, or uncomfortable putting myself out there. It's made me realize that, maybe I'm strong and fearless after all 💛
Also, we will be best friends 10/10 if you know that song lyric 😅 - 1 hour ago