People like to ask "what's the worst thing you've ever seen" I know what they mean. They want to hear something kinda gross with a happy ending, so thats what I give them "well I amputated a leg once, but in the end it saved the persons life"
They dont want to hear the story that shoots in to my mind as soon as the question is asked.
I tried telling someone once and he had nightmares.
No one wants to know about the times I broke down as soon as I got in the elevator, or the songs I cant listen to anymore because they played on the drive home after that night. No one wants to know what his body felt like in my arms as his heart beat against mine. There's not a happy ending to that story.
We all came to work the next day, over tired and worn out. We told eachother we learned a lot and we work so well together as a team but we all knew that it was not a victory, it was not a learning experience, it was our personal horror story that we needed to cry about and then move forward and we did.
We may love our jobs but it does come with pain, we may continue to the next case but our hearts still hold yours.
I will move on to the next patient but I will not forget you. Your story lives forever in me.
#iremember #dontask #traumasurgery #mystory #yourstory - 2 hours ago