This is my grandmother. She was everything to me. I never met someone who didn’t love her, who didn’t have anything but generous, glowing things to say about her. She was the life of the party. She was the kind of person whose name others would drop because she had so much social cache, despite the fact that she wasn’t famous for anything other than being delightfully charming.
You wanted to be around her. Even just to be in the same room. She was sweet, magnetic, warm, and loving. My grandpa adored her, constantly taking her picture. She loved art and animals and babies and beautiful things. She loved the colour green. She was alive and vibrant. She loved bright colours and coral lipstick.
When she died, I found some of her diaries. I was loathe to discover that she had another side. A #darkside . A #depressed side. I was shocked that this beautiful woman so full of life, so charismatic, so seemingly happy, MY grandmother—had a secret life of suffering. She was such a talented actress that no one even knew.
Which brings me to genetics 🧬 and the nature/nurture argument. I have factors on both sides of the argument contributing to my #depression .
*I’ve* often been described as magnetic, charming, magnanimous. Is this how the world seems me? I have the same hidden sadness.
I wish she’d lived now, when we’re talking about #mentalillness . That this talking allows support. It decreases shame. It encourages a balanced person rather than being forced to have 2 sides—a public and a secret one. Would her experience have been any different if she had the opportunity to lighten her load, lessen her burden, find with others a commonality in her #depression ?
This is why I do this IG. For her. For me. For those who don’t have the space, desire, confidence, whatever—to speak their #mentalhealth truth. #endthestigma
#notalone #noshame #anxiety #depressiondoesnotdiscriminate #depressionkills #mentalhealthadvocate #recoveryispossible #recovery #realrecovery #selfcare #mentalhealthawareness #depressionawareness #mentalhealthishealth #mentalhealthmatters #invisibleillness #swflivingwithdepression - 4 months ago