How often do you take yourself out on dates?
Yes, just you, by yourself! Haha I know, it can sound a little scary, maybe even sad if it’s not something you’re used to. I highly recommend trying it all the same.
After a walk up the hills this morning I decided I’d take myself out for a brunch date - I’d been dreaming about eggs bene for days 🤤
I walked in and ordered, was given my special number (3) then found the only table that was free. It happened to be in the sun, it also happened to be a table I had sat at before... which made me uncomfortable, this let me know I was where I was meant to be.
Pulling my bag onto my lap I realised I had left my phone at home, which would seem like an accident, but I know better.. again, exactly where I’m meant to be. Being fully present with myself it is, I thought.
It didn’t take long before I was reliving the experience I had previously had at this exact table in the sun.
One day not so long ago I was sitting here in this spot with my sunglasses on in hopes of hiding my tear soaked face.
It was the morning after our engagement party and we’d been up all night, not the kind of ‘up all night’ you would hope for after such an event.
Unable to eat my breakfast because I felt sick right through my whole body.
What had I done wrong this time?
It was usually a similar story. I hadn’t acted the right way, behaved how was expected of me, hadn’t said the right thing, or I’d said the wrong thing.
This particular occasion I really struggled with. I’d always felt like my engagement party would be a joy and love filled experience surrounded by our friends and family. Having a laugh and drinking too much wine.
But I didn’t drink too much wine, and the smiles from us weren’t exactly real.
I knew something was wrong early on, I could feel it. After everyone left and after hours and hours of communication I understood that I hadn’t given him as much attention or affection as he expected, that I wore makeup which meant something that made him feel uneasy and from what I could gather he was upset that I had so many friends and family that loved me it made him feel unloved in comparison. I felt sad for him.🏼 - 1 day ago