For a long time things have been buried deep within me, that should have been discarded a long time ago. For a long time my mind has been murky, there have been so many layers to this.
I went for a night swim last night and felt the magic of the full moon on my face and body. Getting into the cold Irish Sea, is both an awakening of the body but also the mind...it is exhilarating. I try to focus on my breathing, whilst being immersed in the cold water. In the dark with the moon radiant, full and round. I try to focus on this, whilst my loud inhales and exhales sound laboured. And that’s it, I am continually m reminded of Labour in this space. The act, the pushing the growing of the baby, but also the mothers growth. Emotionally, physically, spiritually...expansion everywhere.
After the birth of my first child I felt so empowered as a woman, like I could bloody do anything. Although it was far from the plan or what I expected. After the birth of my second there was trauma, fear, anger, anxiety loss of myself and despair. They were dark days. My body remembered the trauma and some days I felt so on the edge with 2 small children, a broken body and now what I realise was a broken spirit too.
Only last year, did I go to speak to someone about this and it has been my awakening. I needed to let go of the damaging mind talk. The blame, that my body let me down, that it was not strong enough, that I was not strong enough. Why I didn’t seek help before, is tricky to answer.
But last night my intention was to let the magic of the moon soak into me, shine onto my face and body, soak deep into my spirit. I wanted to set out my intentions and to honour my body and thank it. To be grateful for all that’s it’s been through, that it’s sustained me, that it has a story and to allow it and my mind to heal. To acknowledge that my body is magic and powerful and wonderful and beautiful.
If I can be so daring as to say, so is yours! Regardless of how you perceive it or what it’s been through, how it matches up to the unobtainable highs of what were told to strive towards. Embrace your body in all its glorious, imperfect, beauty.
You are a Wonder! - 2 hours ago