#choosehealingoverhurting

4 posts

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Invalidation Secret:
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Telling any individual that someone else has it worse!!
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We were all created with different limitations and pain thresholds, different physical, emotional and spiritual strengths/weaknesses. Comparing ourselves and our struggles is like comparing apples to oranges.
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Why?
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Because they're DIFFERENT!!
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No two people can feel exactly the same and no two people can heal exactly the same!
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Invalidating one's struggles only further magnifies feelings of negative self-image/worth.
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Why can't we take the time to listen, empathize, and build each other up instead of always trying to compare and tear one another down?
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It takes just as much effort to validate as it does to judge AND if it's not your life, your struggle or your pain, it's not yours to judge in the first place!!
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Love one another, be there for one another and most importantly ACCEPT one another! We are ALL struggling in one way, shape or form. Why does it seem so difficult for today's society to choose helping over hurting?
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#bpd #eupd #ptsd #cptsd #bipolar #ocd #schizophrenia #depression #chronicpain #chronicillness #suicide #anxiety #beatanxiety #mentalhealth #mentalillness #choices #hurtingpeoplehurtpeople #healedpeoplehealpeople
#choosehealingoverhurting #chooseempathy #chooseloveoverhate #choosegodsway #dontlookdownlookup

. Invalidation Secret: . Telling any individual that someone else has it worse!! . We were all created with different limitations and pain thresholds, different physical, emotional and spiritual strengths/weaknesses. Comparing ourselves and our struggles is like comparing apples to oranges. . Why? . Because they're DIFFERENT!! . No two people can feel exactly the same and no two people can heal exactly the same! . Invalidating one's struggles only further magnifies feelings of negative self-image/worth. . Why can't we take the time to listen, empathize, and build each other up instead of always trying to compare and tear one another down? . It takes just as much effort to validate as it does to judge AND if it's not your life, your struggle or your pain, it's not yours to judge in the first place!! . Love one another, be there for one another and most importantly ACCEPT one another! We are ALL struggling in one way, shape or form. Why does it seem so difficult for today's society to choose helping over hurting? . . #bpd #eupd #ptsd #cptsd #bipolar #ocd #schizophrenia #depression #chronicpain #chronicillness #suicide #anxiety #beatanxiety #mentalhealth #mentalillness #choices #hurtingpeoplehurtpeople #healedpeoplehealpeople #choosehealingoverhurting #chooseempathy #chooseloveoverhate #choosegodsway #dontlookdownlookup - 11 days ago

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Fear of abandonment is a major hurdle for those diagnosed with BPD, myself included. When someone would leave (no matter by death, divorce, ending of a relationship, etc.), I felt I wasn't good enough, yet again. I screwed up, yet again. I wasn't worth it, yet again.
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I always made it through those ordeals, however, my self-worth and self-image were what continued to be slaughtered in the process.
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Why? Cause my mind tends to think distorted thoughts. It believes EVERYTHING'S my fault. My mom must have left cause I wasn't good enough to fight for, my boyfriend left cause I wasn't pretty enough, skinny enough, too much, or yet again, not "good enough". It's my mind reiterating that of which was programmed into my younger self: "I am not & never will be good enough".
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When a friendship/relationship ended, I would plummet down that rabbit hole. I turned to unhealthy coping: anger, gambling, cutting, drinking, etc. I backslid into those old thoughts & feelings due to one common denominator: Myself. If everyone continues to leave, of course it must be because of me.
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That's where mindfulness needs to become common practice. Positive self-talk, changing your perspective and the way you think. If you continue to have the same reactions to similar situations, then something needs to change. That something, though, is usually buried within the last place we decide to look.....ourselves.
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It's not easy to "retrain" your brain & it definately doesn't happen overnight, but it IS possible. You just have to put in the hard work & most importantly, you have to want it! If you're trying to heal due to pressure, for family, friends or anyone/anything other than yourself, it just isn't going to work.... #thechoiceisyours #fearisaliar #choosehealingoverhurting #youareworthy
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#bpd #bpdstruggles #bpdrecovery #eupd #ptsd #cptsd #ocd #depression #anxiety #anxietysucks #beatanxiety #suicide #suicideprevention #suicideprevention #mentalhealth #mentalillness #fear #fearcripples #fearlies #abandonment #fearofabandonment #youmatter #changeyourperspective #changeyourreality #changeyourlife

. Fear of abandonment is a major hurdle for those diagnosed with BPD, myself included. When someone would leave (no matter by death, divorce, ending of a relationship, etc.), I felt I wasn't good enough, yet again. I screwed up, yet again. I wasn't worth it, yet again. . I always made it through those ordeals, however, my self-worth and self-image were what continued to be slaughtered in the process. . Why? Cause my mind tends to think distorted thoughts. It believes EVERYTHING'S my fault. My mom must have left cause I wasn't good enough to fight for, my boyfriend left cause I wasn't pretty enough, skinny enough, too much, or yet again, not "good enough". It's my mind reiterating that of which was programmed into my younger self: "I am not & never will be good enough". . When a friendship/relationship ended, I would plummet down that rabbit hole. I turned to unhealthy coping: anger, gambling, cutting, drinking, etc. I backslid into those old thoughts & feelings due to one common denominator: Myself. If everyone continues to leave, of course it must be because of me. . That's where mindfulness needs to become common practice. Positive self-talk, changing your perspective and the way you think. If you continue to have the same reactions to similar situations, then something needs to change. That something, though, is usually buried within the last place we decide to look.....ourselves. . It's not easy to "retrain" your brain & it definately doesn't happen overnight, but it IS possible. You just have to put in the hard work & most importantly, you have to want it! If you're trying to heal due to pressure, for family, friends or anyone/anything other than yourself, it just isn't going to work.... #thechoiceisyours #fearisaliar #choosehealingoverhurting #youareworthy . . #bpd #bpdstruggles #bpdrecovery #eupd #ptsd #cptsd #ocd #depression #anxiety #anxietysucks #beatanxiety #suicide #suicideprevention #suicideprevention #mentalhealth #mentalillness #fear #fearcripples #fearlies #abandonment #fearofabandonment #youmatter #changeyourperspective #changeyourreality #changeyourlife - 26 days ago

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If you're not moving forward, you're either sliding backwards or stuck at a standstill.  Why is that? Because you're afraid.
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It could be fear of something ending, fear of a new beginning, fear of facing the pain, fear of getting hurt again, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of repeating your past, etc. What it all boils down to is a fear of change.
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Well, the problem therein lies in this:
⭕ Without change, you stay the same.
⭕ Without change, you can't break free.
⭕ Without change, you can't grow.
⭕ Without change, you can't heal.
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Change can be terrifying, however, is staying where you're stuck at any easier? Would you rather deal with the pain for a short period of time while working through the healing process, or continue to be caught in that same cycle of hurt forever?
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The choice is totally up to you how you want to live your life. Just remember, the pros AND cons of those decisions fall not in anyone else's lap but your own. And laying blame, guilt or excuses are only hindering, not helping, your movement forward.
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We can't change the outcome of what transpired in the past, however, we do hold the power to fear not and face the pain head on, face the change head on and heal.....
#choosehealingoverhurting #youareworthy
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#facethepain
#facethechange
#fearnotthefuture
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#bpd #eupd #ptsd #cptsd #ocd #depression #anxiety #beatanxiety #suicide #suicideprevention #suicideawareness #mentalhealth #mentalillness #changeyourperspective #changeyourreality #changeyourlife #fearisaliar #thechoiceisyours #dontlookdownlookup #havefaith

. If you're not moving forward, you're either sliding backwards or stuck at a standstill. Why is that? Because you're afraid. . It could be fear of something ending, fear of a new beginning, fear of facing the pain, fear of getting hurt again, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of repeating your past, etc. What it all boils down to is a fear of change. . Well, the problem therein lies in this: Without change, you stay the same. Without change, you can't break free. Without change, you can't grow. Without change, you can't heal. . Change can be terrifying, however, is staying where you're stuck at any easier? Would you rather deal with the pain for a short period of time while working through the healing process, or continue to be caught in that same cycle of hurt forever? . The choice is totally up to you how you want to live your life. Just remember, the pros AND cons of those decisions fall not in anyone else's lap but your own. And laying blame, guilt or excuses are only hindering, not helping, your movement forward. . We can't change the outcome of what transpired in the past, however, we do hold the power to fear not and face the pain head on, face the change head on and heal..... #choosehealingoverhurting #youareworthy . #facethepain #facethechange #fearnotthefuture . . #bpd #eupd #ptsd #cptsd #ocd #depression #anxiety #beatanxiety #suicide #suicideprevention #suicideawareness #mentalhealth #mentalillness #changeyourperspective #changeyourreality #changeyourlife #fearisaliar #thechoiceisyours #dontlookdownlookup #havefaith - 29 days ago

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The above pic is of my Aunt Patty. She passed away on Saturday, January 12th, 2019.
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Just us kids are left now. She was the last of my dad's brothers/sisters to die. Due to some unfortunate circumstances, I hadn't been close to her in years. However, she was family and a part of my life, thus the loss still hurts.
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Struggling w/death has always been an issue for me & BPD has been of no help in this arena. The black & white thinking coupled w/extreme emotions tend to see us bottle everything up & close ourselves off or deal w/it in an outpouring of crying, depression, anger & unhealthy coping, accompanied by that nauseating feeling of no end in sight.
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When my dad unexpectedly died, alcoholism became a way of life & health issues began to quickly arise, several of which I'm still dealing w/to this day. I drank & drank & drank for years. Certain songs would send me into a tailspin of crying bouts, guilt & regret. It was a cycle which tried it's damndest to tear me apart &, unfortunately, I stood by & watched it do just that.
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Grieving is a process which doesn't happen overnight. You need to allow yourself the time to sort through all of those feelings/emotions, let them out & heal. Working through this process w/a therapist, counselor, coach, etc. is something I never did, until now. It's been over 15 years of pain (w/my dad) I kept trying to stuff back down, yet it somehow always found a way to resurface & send me plummeting head first down that rabbit hole.
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If you don't deal w/grief head on, it's never going to get better; it will continue to reappear & haunt you. Death can be extremely difficult to handle, especially on one's own. Please don't let pride stand in the way of your mental & physical well being. You're worth whatever it may take to heal & I'm positive those loved ones who passed on would want to see you do just that➡#choosehealingoverhurting
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#bpd #bpdstruggles #bpdhurts #bpdrecovery #ptsd #cptsd #ocd #depression #depressed #anxiety #beatanxiety #suicide #suicideprevention #loss #suicideawareness #grief #mentalhealth #mentalillness #grievingprocess #sadness #guilt #regret #healing #youareworthyofhealing #youaresttongerthanyouthink

. The above pic is of my Aunt Patty. She passed away on Saturday, January 12th, 2019. . Just us kids are left now. She was the last of my dad's brothers/sisters to die. Due to some unfortunate circumstances, I hadn't been close to her in years. However, she was family and a part of my life, thus the loss still hurts. . Struggling w/death has always been an issue for me & BPD has been of no help in this arena. The black & white thinking coupled w/extreme emotions tend to see us bottle everything up & close ourselves off or deal w/it in an outpouring of crying, depression, anger & unhealthy coping, accompanied by that nauseating feeling of no end in sight. . When my dad unexpectedly died, alcoholism became a way of life & health issues began to quickly arise, several of which I'm still dealing w/to this day. I drank & drank & drank for years. Certain songs would send me into a tailspin of crying bouts, guilt & regret. It was a cycle which tried it's damndest to tear me apart &, unfortunately, I stood by & watched it do just that. . Grieving is a process which doesn't happen overnight. You need to allow yourself the time to sort through all of those feelings/emotions, let them out & heal. Working through this process w/a therapist, counselor, coach, etc. is something I never did, until now. It's been over 15 years of pain (w/my dad) I kept trying to stuff back down, yet it somehow always found a way to resurface & send me plummeting head first down that rabbit hole. . If you don't deal w/grief head on, it's never going to get better; it will continue to reappear & haunt you. Death can be extremely difficult to handle, especially on one's own. Please don't let pride stand in the way of your mental & physical well being. You're worth whatever it may take to heal & I'm positive those loved ones who passed on would want to see you do just that#choosehealingoverhurting . . #bpd #bpdstruggles #bpdhurts #bpdrecovery #ptsd #cptsd #ocd #depression #depressed #anxiety #beatanxiety #suicide #suicideprevention #loss #suicideawareness #grief #mentalhealth #mentalillness #grievingprocess #sadness #guilt #regret #healing #youareworthyofhealing #youaresttongerthanyouthink - 1 month ago

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