The year: 2015.
It started with sun gazing.
First thing in the morning I would drag my post partum body out of bed, praying no one would sense that I was getting up. Somehow they just know when mom wants to do something alone. Most of the time, it worked perfectly. I would check the monitor. Perfect. The 2 year old is still sleeping. The 3 month old, asleep. The husband, always still asleep, somehow.
I need this, I thought. I need to get up before all of them and have a few moments alone to remember….to remember that I’m not just a mom. Not just a milk machine. Not just a boo boo fixer and snack getter.
So I started with the sunrise. I’d check my weather app to see what time the sun would rise and I’d set an alarm for 20 minutes before that. I’d sneak outside to my backyard and roll out my yoga mat, face East, and wait. I never really did much yoga back then. Maybe a few downward dogs. Some light stretching. My goal? Let the sunshine fill me with light.
That’s how I started meditating.
I didn’t up the anty and get serious with meditating until I was absolutely miserable during my 3rd pregnancy. I needed help. Emotionally, spiritually...I needed help.
The absolute best thing I did was find the Buddhify app. I have used it almost every single day since that pregnancy in 2016. I was living in NC with my parents and my 2 kids, avoiding the Zika virus in South Florida. I missed my husband - he was in FL working hard, without us. It was so hard. And I really missed my sunrise routine. I missed my peacefulness. I missed my morning happiness.
And so I started using the Buddhify app every day. It kept me accountable. It kept me focused on my goal - to start my day “light.” I didn’t have the sunrise like in FL, but I realized I could have that quiet time to breathe and get in my body. To calm the anxiety. The angst. The pain. (Cont in comments) - 2 months ago