Day 2: In this photo I was 141 lbs. The dress is a size 9. I am just a little taller than 5’2”. I was 18 years old. And I thought I was fat. Genuinely. According to the BMI scales - I was fat, or at least overweight. Can you believe this? I thought I was FAT. This tiny little girl thought she was fat.
I have struggled with poor self image for as long as I can remember. I don’t ever remember not thinking I was fat. I was always “bigger” than other people - tall for my age, solid, I developed early, I felt that I was fat. I honestly don’t know where the poor self image came from. I know I didn’t compare myself to others, to movie stars or dolls. I just felt fat. I know there were minor comments from other kids or seemingly harmless remarks from family. But maybe it is just something some people struggle with no matter what. When I look at this photo, I think “How can this tiny little girl in this photo think she is fat?” But if I go back to how I felt that day...that is definitely what was going through my head.
To this day I struggle with my image. My weight is a minute by minute battle. My self-perception is part of a bigger war, but I think I am winning. After years of war, I’ve started to see that my worth does not go down as my weight goes up. My guess is the war will rage on, but I can only hope and pray that I have instilled the core confidence in my own daughter that allow her to never struggle with this same war. And if I do that, then, we’ll know I have won.
Oh yeah, I can also look back on that picture now and see a few deeper things - that girl in the photo could run 10 miles a night then jump on a bike and ride another 12 miles. She was STRONG. And, as hard as it is to say, pretty darn stunning too. Love yourself—you will never get another you. #30daysofselfproclamations #geekbeautymom #discoveringme
#baremysoul #sharingmyheart #selfimage #imperfectlyperfect #myjourneytome #becomingme #beyourbestversion #bekindtoyourself #tbt #highschoolprom #throwbackthursday #geek #beauty #mom #letsbereal #inpspireothers #changetheworld #bethechange #weightbattles #weightstruggles #thisisme #shesimperfect #shesbrave - 10 hours ago