Our bodies are so smart and so resilient. They want us to succeed and to thrive. Sometimes, we don’t listen though. My sophomore year of high school, I was convinced I needed to lose as much weight as possible, in the shortest amount of time. I didn’t eat. I barely slept. I couldn’t concentrate. I lost my sanity. I lied to everyone about my struggles. Things only spiraled into a worse reality as time passed. Anorexia turned into bulimia. I binged on so much food to mask my inner demons and then purged it all right away. My body was so exhausted from what I was putting it through that it began to shut down. I lost patches of hair, my nails stopped growing, my skin wouldn’t heal correctly, and my breathing even became heavier. I couldn’t walk up a flight of stairs without feeling winded. I lost hope in myself and began to believe I’d die this way— suffering from eating disorders until, one day, they’d finally kill me. My life felt meaningless.
There isn’t one day that I can remember where things clicked and I felt 100% better. But I do remember waking up each day to the smiles in yoga classes from students that are just happy to be there. I remember the words of encouragement from my coworkers and friends and family. I remember the emails and messages I read saying how much my class helped calm someone. And that’s exactly what motivates me to keep fighting for a healthier me. Because I know that if my mind and my body are healthy, I can transfer that health to others. My students, friends, family, and coworkers deserve that. They deserve the best version of me. And, deep down I know, I deserve the best version of me, too.
Our stories shouldn’t be hidden. We shouldn’t have to mask our struggles and pretend everything is great. It’s ok to be imperfect, and I completely understand where you’re coming from. If you’re reading this post (and haven’t stopped reading all my rambling yet), just be aware of this: Your life is precious. You have a gift and a light that is begging to shine. Give yourself a chance to show off what you were born to bring to this world. You never, ever know who is watching you and cheering you on. Your purpose is there. Please uncover it. ️ - 6 hours ago