Some nights are strange. When you are bowing to pay your respects to your Lord Most Beautiful, your heart which you had so carefully mended, seam by seam, seems to begin ripping apart. Every tiny rip that had been put back together, meticulously, multiple times, silently comes undone, and the wounds begin to palpate and throb. As the pain comes to life you increase your focus on the words that were coming off your lips, your conversation with God, it becomes ever more ardent, ever more earnest, like a beggar you pour your words out to him. You take the wounds and lay them at the foot of your prayers. You give them all to Him. You leave them at His door to fix, to remove, to erase, whatever it takes to be healed again. As the tears begin ebbing, you blow your nose out... you wipe down the streams that travelled all around you, as you bowed down, as you bent your body, your soul, as you stood and as you turned and you looked at the drying wet mess that was you, and your wake... And then you feel lighter. You heave, consciously, and then you focus on being quiet for 15 seconds, to just allow your body to feel yourself breathe. Inhale - a long deep breath. Exhale - a long slow release. You feel your stomach rise and withdraw, you feel your burdens follow suit, to the pattern of your breathing. You lay your head back down on your pillow, your prayer beads in between your fingers, and with remembrance on your hands and your lips you give yourself to sleep, in hopes for this cleanse to last you longer than a broken night's sleep. May the dawn not just be for the day. May it be for your heart and soul too. Ameen.
• Picture and words Hayaah - 1 year ago