Let's talk adult friend making.
To start, it's shit. Or often is. Because we feel like we should be good at this, that we should already have friends, that we shouldn't be needing to make community in our 20's, 30's or 40's (or beyond!). We feel like we've done something wrong because we don't have our group nailed down. We feel like it's probably us, and nobody will like us, so we will just stay home alone instead. Plus, we don't know where to go to find friends or make friends.
And sometimes the idea of going to make friends is paralyzing, because it means going somewhere alone and confronting the discomfort of feeling like an outsider in a new place, and it's risky to show up and hope someone talks to you. And what if they don't? (Because maybe they won't?) And then you'd have to recover from that rejection and the bullshit stories your brain feeds you.
Friend making in adulthood is hard. And risky. And deeply uncomfortable at parts. And might result in disappointment. And can be exhausting.
But. Being alone is also hard.
There is no escaping hard in this equation. Both options are shitty. Except one of the options leads to the potential of a new reality. While the other is choosing stagnant yet familiar pain.
The antidote to loneliness is more discomfort, initially. Maybe for a while. Which is pretty shitty to know the way to not feel like shit is to actually increase your anxiety and maybe get let down a bunch before you hopefully land.
But the alternative is to continue to cycle in aloneness.
I'm curious what your best friend making strategies have been? What can you share with others feeling stuck?
Or, if you're feeling stuck, what might be a way you'd feel safe enough to venture out and meet new people? What type of space or place or activity or event might draw you into the courageous risk-taking?
You're not alone in your loneliness. Let's figure out the barriers to real connection, and how to undo aloneness together.
#lonely #alone #loneliness #depression #anxiety #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #wellness #connect #community #together #relationship #safety #healing #peopleneedpeople #friends #friendship #adulthood #adultlife - 9 hours ago