Theres a deeper meaning as to why I wear forest camo often, but due to the ignorance of many, I allow them to think what they may.
It's another shitty characteristic of human beings that can easily be manipulated but I'd rather take the shots because I'm used to it.
Being out in a place where the only sounds I can hear is rushing water or birds and fish jump is essentially my biggest solace in life, because realistically: I don't want to be here. I dont want to be on an earth where good and honest people are always overlooked, taken for granted, and always misunderstood.
I dont want to be on an earth where others will try to take away the happiness you produce on your own because they're incapable of doing so.
I dont want to be on an earth where I cant enjoy life with someone else that enjoys the simple shit that I do because money is a necessity in the search for love when I crave connection, and if you're so much different from other people in terms of independence and personality and require so little maintenance from it:
You are useless. You are inadequate. You are outdated. Every aspect of who you are isnt society's fault, it's you. Fuck you for not conforming to their ways, and fuck you for being able to speak for yourself. Fuck you for being able to make your own happiness, fuck you for being able to earn your own shit. Fuck you, for being who you are.
So I seperate myself entirely from it.
It has its benefits, but also at its costs, because nothing in life is free.
I am not someone to give in, I am not someone to give up. I am not a coward, I am not weak. I appear the opposite of happy at all times, and honestly I wish i died long ago, but instead of going out the easy and cowardly way, I'd rather vanish and rebuild.
When I wear forest camo, it is a direct representation of where I want to go back to, because humanity, on top of other things, is legitimately exhausting.
I’ve been through this several times before, but seeing the person that brought you into this world, the person that created who you are, in severe constant pain is something that shakes me down to my very core. It weakens me immensely..but I’ll still be standing on my own as always. - 3 days ago