When I crossed the finish line for the Keirin State Championships I threw my bike and knew I took it. I screamed really loud in celebration. I cried on the cool down lap.
It was the first time I ever won anything meaningful in my life. My first podium.
It took me years of sacrifice and training to get to where I am in life. And at 36 years old I feel like I still haven't done enough. I feel like I have more to prove than ever before.
My age has been a heavy chip on my shoulder, along with my health and injuries, I often thought I'd never do anything with all this time and effort I spend in the gym and on the bike. People questioning why I even continue. Why I even try. Challenging my approach to the sport.
To be brutally honest, my life isn't all that great. I have a lot of demons I fight with every day. Mental illness. Past and present life guilt. Second guessing choices I make. Erasing and re-writing on the drawing board. This sport is the only thing that gives me pure joy. It is exactly my hell and sanctuary.
Training is HARD. It is far more complicated and more difficult than what people make it out to be. It is not pretty. I have lost and failed A LOT.
If you feel like you know everything, you've learned nothing at all.
I will continue to learn. Continue to grow. And always be a student.
As I write this on my way home after a long and hard day as an auto mechanic, I'll pack a bag and head to the gym to get a deadlift session in with my partner and coach @cweetbeat to continue priming for my off season block in September.
I worked hard to build this foundation. Time to build on top of it.
Thanks for following this journey of mine
#trackcycling #savethetrackbike #trackie #cyclist #barbell #strength #chicagostrength #powerlifting #squats #weightlifting #fixie #fixedgear #watts #everydaylegday #power #letsroastcycles #parachuteclub #kinesiology #crosstraining #fastlegs #fasttwitch #giro #keirin #sprinter #chicago #respectthedepth - 3 minutes ago