if you find yourself looking at the world with a new lens, unsure how to relate to the sphere of social media, you are not alone.
i deleted my fb and did not post on instagram for several months, ghosted. june-jan. an ironic disconnect from my job title as social media manager in which i am submerged in this sphere everyday.
call it paranoia but in a society that generally finds talking about death to be taboo, i found this isolation to be a way to protect what energy i did have. the idea of posting for likes felt so fraudulent. i wasn’t strong enough to share my story and i found no value in pretending to be okay.
five months after losing Matthew, i lost my first love, Jesse. and although we had not been together for a long time, he was still a guardian to me, a person i will forever be intrinsically linked to, and love deeply. they say when your twin flame dies the living twin experiences a soul shock. i have no doubt that this is what my mind, heart, body and spirit have endured.
with such severe loss, came an unexpected wave of light, love, and remembrance of exactly who i was.
matt & jesse's spirits began to pour through my life in metaphysical ways i could never imagine, and their deaths reconnected me with loved ones, while their physical absence was simultaneously destroying me.
divine beauty surfaced from loss.
a heartbreak so exquisite yet healing, i refer to it as, 'the horrible wonderful.'
speaking about loss, grief or death is not weak. it's brave. your chrysalis phase is for you, healing is not linear. "what the caterpillar calls the end, the master calls the butterfly."
just as someone once pushed me to share my poetry in front of a crowd, today someone encouraged me to post the type of content i want to see. they say you have to be the change.
with your nostrils warming my hair.
and your heartbeat pulsing underneath my palm.
that's the best home i ever had.
thank you for the unconditional.
i remember how that felt.
i know how rare it is.
I reallly really love you.
#mentalhealthmatters #healing #satnam - 1 hour ago