The only trust required is to know that when there is one ending there will be another beginning.
- Clarissa Pinkola Estés
When I was 23 I thought the world was crashing down on me. I wanted more than ever to escape from myself, from the life I was living. I remember looking in a mirror and feeling so detached from my reflection, so confused about how I had gotten to this place, convinced that the reflection was no longer me - that my soul had somehow been kidnapped by a different body, a life that couldn’t possibly belong to me...
I was terrified. I was lost.
I felt broken in a million pieces, and the thought of putting them back together seemed intangible.
But the storm settled, and I found myself with nothing but my beating heart & a desire to change. To love myself again. I started over - moving to Connecticut from Colorado to live with my dad & step mom. I went to therapy. I wrote. I cried more times than I can remember. I started Taekwondo classes. Somehow through this journey I began to remember a part of myself that had been lost for so long. A girl with a big smile, who loved to climb trees and venture into the depths of her imagination. A girl with endless hope & optimism. It was this remembrance that brought me back to myself, and I said, “I won’t be defeated. Ever.”
I could have never imagined during this rebuilding of my life that I would end up where I am now. That connecting women together in the outdoors and sharing our stories would be my future. I never would have had the valuable perspective I have now - that the pain and lessons and rebuilding would be the very things that birthed @howl_often years later.
After a successful first #WildWoman retreat, it has been surreal processing all of the stories, the connections, and the impact made in a few short days. But I do know it was a truer realization of my path and the most honest reflection I’ve seen of myself since I was that brave & fearless little girl long ago... I want to thank all of the women who attended, and especially the women who have been by my side all these years cheering me on. Here’s to the power of new beginnings.
#HowlOften - 52 minutes ago