Why I decided to get STRONG
I’m a firm believe in digging deep and finding your WHY.
If you don’t understand on a deeper level why are going to the gym, why you are tracking your diet, your motivation will always fizzle out.
So I decided to dig deep and it took me to some real places.
In 2010, I was stalked and harassed by an ex boyfriend. It never became physical, but there were numerous times when I feared for my safety.
I remember crouching and hiding in the corner of my bedroom, listening to him pounding on the front door, hearing rocks and dirt hit the windows, my phone ringing non stop as he tried to call me.
He left messages on the answering machine shouting, ‘I know you’re in there.’
In that moment I felt small, helpless, and weak.
I never wanted to feel that way again, especially not because of some dude.
It all came to a head with a court hearing and a restraining order. Oh, and I think he ended up having to do community service. A few hours of community service for nearly 9 months of harassment. But that’s a whole different rabbit hole I could go down.
Following this, I became afraid of every strange man I came in contact with. My experience showed me how easily I could be overpowered.
I started going to the gym, lifting heavy weights, empowering myself again.
I felt that if I could become physically strong, then next time I wouldn’t be so afraid. If I could become physically strong, I would be able to walk down the street in confidence rather than fear of a potential attacker.
For a long time, this desire to regain the power that had been taken away from me, is what kept me going.
Through strength training and adding muscle to my body, I was able to get back a piece of myself that had been stolen.
Now, I just freaking love being in the gym and doing what I do.
Even though the entire experience was a pile of shit, I have to thank my ex. He tried to make me feel small and weak but instead pushed me to be better and stronger in ways I didn’t think possible.
PS: If you have or are currently experiencing something similar and just need a sounding board, feel free to send me a DM. I’m here girl. - 2 hours ago